There is a major issue to be dealt with if one wants to develop or enhance ones intuitive skills. It is the matter of self-trust. Do you trust what goes on inside your own head? Most of us don’t. There are reasons for that reality. Our education and the socialization process tend to teach us other things besides how to be social (functional members of a society) and versed in basic skills like reading and writing and numbers. These other things may not be the intended target of all that education, but are often the silent by-products of it.
One of those silent messages is that much of what goes on inside ones own head is whim, even fancy, based on mood swings and temperature within the environment. It is subjective information, known only to that particular individual and has little or no value to anything or anyone exterior to it. Think about that for a moment.
By law, we are required to attend some form of educational process. That is meant to help us to learn how to use the brains that are built into the system. However, we spend years being made aware of how ignorant we are and there is a silent message that rides right along with all that other learning. That message sounds something like this: “Alone, I know nothing,” or, “what I know is incomplete, always.”
We spend a great deal of time, effort, and money teaching our children what to think, even some of how to think, but then turn them lose expecting them to instantly know what to do in any given situation. When some of what they have picked up silently along the way is that they might never be able to figure it out by themselves. Much of the time, we forget to let them know that they have fine minds and, more importantly, that we trust them to use what they already have.
We all experience self-doubt. It’s a given, right? Maybe. I have a tendency to think that it is, at least in part, a learned response. And that in itself is a huge reason for hope. A learned response can be unlearned. It can be altered and changed and made new and different. We can learn a new way of seeing ourselves and the very thoughts that constantly move through our minds.
But, as in most things, it must begin within our own person. I have often said, and will probably say thousands of times more, that the most important conversation, or dialogue, one can possibly have is the one with ones own person. And although there is some inclination to think that an individual who talks to him/herself is on the way to insanity, that self-talk is probably the one sure path to sane and healthy living.
If one does not value ones own thoughts and perceptions, how can one expect that others will do so? And that ultimately comes down to trusting oneself and what is going on inside ones head. In my last post here, I spoke about committing to taking oneself regularly on an Artist’s Date. If you fail to make or take note of those experiences, they hold little or no value.
The intent here is to stimulate new connective links. That won’t and can’t happen if you don’t begin to value those new perspectives. Taking the time to just sit and evaluate the experience and compare it to others gives them the necessary value that makes them noteworthy. Even when the experience might not have been all that great to begin with. Exploring the why of that gives you valuable information for any future experience of a similar nature.
And by making note of it, I do not mean writing it down, although that is my preferred process. Simply allowing a few moments to let those responses and reactions flow through your mind, can and does create new reference points. It also does one more thing. It creates one more point of possible self-trust, that necessary ingredient to enhanced intuitive skills. Talking about the experience and your response to it, with another individual, can do something similar. But, there is also the possibility that the other individual will disagree and that might lead to more self-doubt.
And that is what this present discussion is all about. Disagreement is only a difference of opinion, nothing more. Too often we take it to mean that we have somehow gotten it wrong, again. We internalize it and decide that we are at fault for the disagreement. We all have personal preferences. Learning to allow others to have their preference, while maintaining ones own, is a big step toward self-trust. And those few moments spent in self-dialogue is another.
I do both of those things by writing daily in a journal. Meditation is another means of doing something very similar. What do you do to enhance your own reserves of self-trust? It might be interesting to set aside a day in which you make note of each time you dismiss your own thoughts and ideas. What do you label such thoughts? How do you define them to yourself? Maybe its time for some new definitions.
Another avenue of thought might be to take a look at ones past and just who gave you the idea that it is best not to trust what goes on in your own head. It can be an amazing little exercise. Specific faces might appear, a certain tone of voice that implied that idea. A particular phrase that comes back to haunt you in silent introspective moments. How many of those same or similar phrases and words do you find yourself still using about your own person?
It might be time to start that unlearning process, making room for what is much more applicable today and in this present moment. Another little experiment that can be quite fruitful is to stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself that you do have a fine mind and can trust what goes on in your own head. Remember to make note of what happens when you do so.