Last week, I wrote here (Trust Me On This One) about the need to trust oneself if one is seeking to enhance and develop ones intuitive abilities. However, that does not mean carte blanch, or blanket approval of ones own being. It does mean doing the work. That is not always easy, work seldom is.
I have recently been exchanging emails with Diddums http://diddums.wordpress.com/ and she was telling me of a celebrity biography she was reading. In it, the individual started out speaking of his problem with a lack of self-esteem, stating quite clearly that it did have a basis in life-long criticism he had experienced. But, apparently quite quickly, he changed his tune and decided that everyone else was insane and he was okay. That is blanket approval. A desire to move through the learning process by skipping a few of the necessary steps. The ones that are hard work.
We all have a tendency to do that. We see the problem, actually define it, and seek the simplest way to rectify the situation. And the easiest way to do that is to blame someone else, thereby removing responsibility for the correction onto someone else’s shoulders. Wallah! That was simple. But, that only means that the same patterns keep being repeated, and most often with the same results and consequences.
We can say, even teach ourselves to think that everyone else is at fault and we are okay, but then why aren’t we feeling differently, more assured of ourselves and our actions, confident and at ease? Because we haven’t done the work. We’ve simply side-stepped that element of the process. It might very well involve a bit of self-pity: “But, I didn’t cause the hurt I am feeling, others did that. Why must I now heal what someone else did?”
Good question. Insufficient thought process. Yes, someone else did the wrong deed, made the wrong choice, back there somewhere in the past. But, it is we who have chosen, consciously or otherwise, to carry the results into the present moment, where they interfere with much of what we would like to accomplish.
That choice we made, to carry the hurt or whatever, into this moment is our responsibility. Yes, that means we are the only ones who can heal what happened to us in the past. Others may help in various ways, but even that won’t happen unless we choose to allow it. And the healing process is hard work. It takes time and concentrated energy. And it takes creative energies.
Creativity is a built in healing agent. If you doubt that, pick up a box of crayons and color for a half hour. You might be surprised at the positive change that will occur to your feeling mode. And that positive change will alter the way you perceive whatever lies in front of you. That altered perception will, in turn, allow new thought patterns in place of the old ones. Might even suggest a small manner in which your life might be made better, simpler, or even easier. That is healing.
So, how is coloring for a half hour work? First of all, many people think coloring is simply a child’s activity, meant to keep the troops quiet for a while and give Mom a break. It’s play, therefore to some, a waste of time. It’s work to get past that particular mindset. And once past it, then the real work begins in choosing the right color, how best to get the smoothest application, and the most colorful and satisfying results.
Going through the motions will not be sufficient. One must be willing to think through the actions, make the choices, and follow through on those choices. And what that does is open doors. Lots of inner doors. It encourages the mind to find new paths and new patterns. And eventually, those new paths and new patterns can be applied in other areas. That is the work.
There is something else involved here. If we truly desire to trust ourselves, we ourselves must earn that trust. Whoa! That’s one hefty thought. We must prove to ourselves that we can be and are dependable, trustworthy. We do that by doing the work, consistently and repeatedly. If that work happens to be coloring, then we must commit ourselves to doing just that. Must consistently set aside time to engage in that work and then follow through and do it.
You might be amazed at how hard that part of the process is. And that is one of the major reasons we would like to slide that blanket of responsibility onto someone else’s shoulders, while wrapping ourselves in that much softer, warmer, and far easier blanket of self-approval. The problem with doing so is that particular blanket has lots of huge holes in it. Rest assured that if one chooses it, the Universe will work overtime to make sure we become aware of each and every one of them, and usually in quite obvious and uncomfortable ways.
Steadfastness is an old fashion sort of word. It means to be steady, balanced and reliable. Dependable and trustworthy. Someone who can be counted on to be there when needed. We are essentially alone within our own skin. For many of us, that means we live and breath right alongside of the stranger we might be to ourselves. Learning who that stranger is, and why they are the way they are, is a lot of work. It is the work of earning our own trust and becoming someone we ourselves can depend upon, count on, and come to rely on with some amount of certainty.
In working through that, we will find those wounded places. And because we have done the work, we will know how to heal those places, put them back into their proper alignment, and get on with whatever lies in front of us. We will do that because we can trust what we are becoming and being.
What is your favorite color and are you ready to begin?