What do emotions have to do with intuitive abilities? One is a mental function, the other is feeling states. But, they are all held and contained in the same small package defined as the human psyche. And there are those times when they cross whatever boundaries we may have enclosed them in, intermingling and affecting the whole system.
Ideally, action should follow thought, and feeling should follow those two predecessors. It doesn’t always work that way because we are human and therefore less than perfected. We may be well on our way to perfection at any given moment, but perfection is an ideal and ideals are goals we are headed toward, seldom becoming states of being that can be maintained for any length of time without concerted effort.
I can be as perfectly depressed as the next person. When I am, my intuition seems to speak from a far away cave hidden in the back forty of a swamp infested wasteland. When that happens, I am usually far more engaged in swatting giant mosquitoes (many of them imaginary) and complaining loudly of the heat and humidity. Needless to say, hearing the still small voice of intuition becomes almost an impossibility. I can consciously lean in to listen, desperate for some understanding, but the drone of those pesky mosquitoes is far louder, as well as extremely distracting.
Simply being aware of the depression is a good thing, actually quite invaluable at times. I have learned that it is best not to make life-altering decisions during those time periods. I also make sure I continue engaging in creative endeavors, even though the energy levels to do so are low, and sometimes non-existent. I also read a lot during those periodic bouts of low energy. Just because I’m depressed and my intuition is climbing a mountain to get to me, doesn’t mean I can’t hear other people’s intuitive input.
It is amazing to me, how often I can pick up a novel and at some point, find a statement that seems to jump off the page at me. It that happens, I have a tendency to underline it so I can go back and see if it does the same thing on a second reading. If it still jumps out at me and has me thinking or exploring a different avenue of consideration, I often jot it down. That, in turn, ups the volume on that still small voice I am trying so hard to hear.
Depression has a tendency to deaden our awareness, sort of pulling a heavy velvet curtain across our inner eyes and ears. Being aware of those shadowed valleys and box canyons is a step toward getting out of them. Listening to our own feeling states is sort of like taking our temperature. Staying aware is not always easy.
One of the ways that I take my emotional temperature on a regular basis is to end my journal page, of the current day, with an Emotional Weather Report. If its raining for four or five days in a row, I know that I have probably stepped into one those box canyons and am heading toward the swamp. If I find myself having to struggle to find the words to complete the one or two sentences I keep those reports to, I know I’m in the swamp and probably sinking in quick sand.
The biggest problem with depression is that it wipes out the energy of passion. “Who cares,” is the oft repeated refrain that echoes through those shadowy places. “Leave me alone,” is another one, especially if it is said while sitting alone in ones own space. Deep sighs and shoulder shrugging often accompany those words. They are often indicators of the feeling state and mood level. Ones that should be paid attention to, but often aren’t because we don’t have the capacity to give a hoot about anything.
Intuition is not a fickle, or only sometimes, companion. It is a flow that can be narrowed by the rocks and boulders that depression can place in our path. However, we can teach ourselves to be observant of our own feeling states and act accordingly. Choosing quiet, but creative endeavors during that time period will free up that flow far more quickly than resigning ourselves to the life of a couch potato.
Resignation is a huge boulder. If you find yourself saying frequently that that’s just the way it has always been and things never change, realize that you are flirting with that boulder and it may tip over and bury you. Then you could verily easily end up being just another squashed couch potato, forever at the mercy of those pesky mosquitoes.
I, for one, would prefer to live my life otherwise. I continued to color through my latest bout of depression. It wasn’t easy and the completed images were far from spectacular or stunning.
But, I refused to quit and did some reading as well. Eventually I found one of those statements that jumped out at me, underlined it and went back to jot it down. It made sense and I worked with it and what it might mean to my current situation. It was about time and scar tissue. I unraveled it while I was coloring. That completed image is posted above and is filled with harmony and balance.
It opened the door to a whole new creative project with which to engage in. It also helped me to see some of the mistaken choices I had made and how to redo those less than stunning images. The design was created by Marc Bove and his site is located here: http://www.mandalarbre.com/
My intuition says that I am back in the flow. Are you? Or, are you hiding behind a boulder, still swatting at those mosquitoes?