Constructed

Constructed

 Unnatural Relationship
bent to suit space
and circumstances,
screwed into bedrock
of differences, will soon
begin to show signs
of age, long before time
when discolorations
become visible and what
flows through and between
inner channels, now
infected by alchemy
of natural change,
affects all that it
encounters.

Elizabeth Crawford  8/13/10

for Magpie Tales Mag #27
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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35 Responses to Constructed

  1. systematicweasel says:

    There’s so much in life that can be compared to rusty pipes, from relationships to the mind itself. Wonderfully crafted post!

    -Weasel =)

  2. Tumblewords says:

    Well. Yes. It does. I love this.

    • 1sojournal says:

      Tumblewords, thanks and glad you enjoyed it. Was a bit surprised when I first finished and realized it actually made a whole lot of sense, lol. That’s what I get for just following the words without a lot of thought as to where they might be going.

      Elizabeth

  3. Marilyn says:

    So well written and so true of much in life, I enjoyed this.

  4. Doctor FTSE says:

    A very interesting piece that contains the germs of many more poems, I feel.
    Thank you for your kind comment on my Plumbing Poem.
    All good wishes.
    FTSE

    • 1sojournal says:

      Doctor FTSE, don’t you just love that multiplying phenomenon? I think of all the years I waited more than wrote, and am so glad that I did. Now, it seems that everywhere I look, each sound that I hear, and thing that I touch, brings the words whispering to my ear. If this is the reward for sore stiff joints and bends in the road too numerous to mention, I’m more than grateful to be of a certain age.

      And thank you for taking time to read and comment,

      Elizabeth

  5. Leonnyes says:

    very interesting.. was very much able to relate it to life.. thank u for sharing this 🙂

  6. Rinkly Rimes says:

    Not only does your poem contain intersting thoughts but it looks so good on the page!

    • 1sojournal says:

      Oh yes, Rinkly Rimes, it’s not hard to lay down the words, but getting them into their Sunday best, keeping them clean and wrinkle free, that’s the work. Good thing we have the patience and the love that it takes to do it, yes? Thank you, for visiting and commenting,

      Elizabeth

  7. Loved the powerful use of the word “alchemy” within this descriptive poem!

    • 1sojournal says:

      Gemma, I have to be careful with that. I love words, one at a time, and much like a child, want to use them repeatedly because they taste so good on the tongue, lol. But, I agree with you, that one is particularly potent, and I chose it to contrast with the other harsher words brought about by the rusted pipes, and bedrock of the image. Thank you for noticing,

      Elizabeth

  8. Patience Ray says:

    beautiful and haunting, i love this. a great read with some really fab lines. great job.

  9. Lovely poem, Elizabeth.

    ‘now
    infected by alchemy
    of natural change,’

    These are wonderful lines. 🙂

    • 1sojournal says:

      Good eye, Paul, those are the ones I love most of all myself. Had to get that sense of magic into this almost too sober look at a constructed reality. Thanks for reading and leaving the comments,

      Elizabeth

  10. Martin H says:

    Yes, I like this a great deal.

  11. Beautifully done! I liked the way you found your way through the connections.

    • 1sojournal says:

      Annell, this one I had to work my way through by first writing out what I was actually seeing and then finding the poem within those words. So, your comment is far more real and true than you could possibly have known. I love it when that happens. Here’s to many more connections,

      Elizabeth

  12. Helen says:

    Lovely in its simplicity … and so wise.

    • 1sojournal says:

      Lol, thank you Helen, and although I know exactly what you mean by simplicity, I almost hesitated to post it because it is all one sentence and a very complex one at that. Now the wise…personally I plan on taking that one home and hugging it to myself whenever I get the urge to slap myself upside the head. That one still happens, but not quite as often anymore.

      Elizabeth

  13. Elizabeth I have added a note, that Kate Beck, http://katebeckstudio.blogspot.com/
    Did a post about Johnnie Winona Ross, Wednesday, November 11, 2009, On and of the Mesa: Johnnie Winona Ross, Carole Sue Ross, thought you might be interested.

    • 1sojournal says:

      Thank you Annell, his process sounded like so much work and patience, and yet I can see and feel something in it that seems familiar. I will definitely go take a look. Thanks for the site addie.

      Elizabeth

  14. This has some of the best lines.

    Hope your weekend is a lovely one. 🙂

    • 1sojournal says:

      Angie, thank you much for the best lines comment. I like them as well. And hope your weekend goes well also.

      Elizabeth

      • Thank you! My weekend was wonderful!

        So was mine, and this one is going to be even fuller and busier. My middle daughter is expecting her first and we are throwing a baby shower/family gathering on Saturday. Should be fun. Thanks for stopping back,

        Elizabeth

  15. Claudia says:

    we can compare such a lot of things with those pipes…relationships, bent to suit space
    and circumstances…sad thing in a way – enjoyed your writing

  16. Teresa says:

    This is great. It has a natural flow despite the unnatural relationships.

    Teresa (http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com)

    • 1sojournal says:

      Teresa,

      You should have seen the first draft. No flow whatsoever, lol. Just an unnatural relationship with the subject at hand. Thanks for stopping and glad you enjoyed,

      Elizabeth

  17. brian says:

    brilliant take on the magpie…it does begin to affect all that is around it when a coupling starts to deteriorate…

    • 1sojournal says:

      Brian, thank for the comments, and I like that word coupling, wish I’d thought of it earlier. Thanks for the ‘brilliant,’ that goes in the kudos box.

      Elizabeth

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